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| [a little bit better] |
| 02.17.04 (9:56 pm) [edit] |
me and her (my crush) are sort of okay already.. we talk to each other already and stuff.. but, too bad we aren't that close anymore.. *sighs* btw, i'm so sorry for not blogging for a while.. haven't been in the mood lately.. i'm starting to hate some of my friends for backstabbing and using me.. *sighs*
[nikki]
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| [been so long] |
| 02.07.04 (9:42 pm) [edit] |
well.. i'm confirmed already.. btw, sorry for not blogging these past few days.. i went online the whole week this week but i didn't blog because there wasn't anything to put.. so.. about this other girl.. hmm.. i don't like her that much.. i prefer my old crush.. but, now.. i hate her!! she used me.. well.. fuck her!! i mean, how dare she get food from me and snob me at the same time? gosh.. i [b]hate[/b] her so much.. i wanna kill her.. well.. nothing to say.. so.. bye!!
[nikki]
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| [hmm..] |
| 02.05.04 (4:14 am) [edit] |
talked to her.. god.. it's like 95% gone already.. she's such a snob.. and she just uses me so that she could bathe and so that she could watch more DVDs.. grr..
hmm.. this other girl talked to me.. hmm..Ü what do i think? hot!!Ü hehe.. to bad she ain't a lesbo.. well, i think.. hehe..Ü but, she's pretty and nice..
[nikki]
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| [pain.. it's what she brings] |
| 02.04.04 (3:49 am) [edit] |
she ignored me the whole day.. we didn't even talk.. as in like a conversation.. god!! doesn't she even know i exist? i love her.. can't she see that? why does she have to make it so hard for me?
[i]i'm just there
by the corner
while everyone ignores me
i feel alone
betrayed
upset
i miss her
i was her friend
i wish i still am
but i'm not a part of her anymore
and i try not to make her
a part of me
the world's over
and so are we[/i]
that was a poem i made like months ago..i think it was for a friend of mine.. who kept ignoring me and stuff.. but, now, i'm using it for 'romantic matters'.. or however you wanna say it..
[nikki]
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| [uhm.. i think it's back..] |
| 02.03.04 (4:05 am) [edit] |
so, i'm not pissed/annoyed with her anymore.. and the same thing goes for her to me..Ü i'm sort of happy that she ain't annoyed anymore because she was.. i will try not to flirt anymore.. since i know that i will [b]never[/b] have a chance with her.. *sighs* thanks everton79..Ü i do know that i sort of don't love her anymore.. but, i just can't resist!! oh.. so.. her 'girlfriend' was absent today.. no, i'm not that happy she was because her 'girlfriend' is really nice..Ü eeeeeeee!! i love my live journal!!Ü heehee.. neway, not much to say anymore.. just read my lj if you know the url..Ü bye!! uhm.. hope we talk!!Ü
[nikki]
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| [is it gone yet?] |
| 02.02.04 (3:05 am) [edit] |
the crush is 90% gone already.. she snobbed me during lunch and made me some freaking maid!! i'm so pissed with her.. i guess, i really shouldn't bother trying to make her notice me and all that since i have like a 1% of being her girlfriend.. *sighs* i wish she knew how pissed i am.. with the way she treated/treats me.. oh well.. i'm sure sheep* will tell her.. or something.. oh well.. i want her to know and how bad and mean she was to me!! grr.. i am so pissed!! uhm.. nothing else to say.. so.. buh-bye!!Ü
[nikki]
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| [fair.. again] |
| 01.31.04 (9:41 pm) [edit] |
so, the crush is really gone.. not completely.. but, almost, though.. *sighs*
she didn't go to our school fair yesterday.. bummer.. but, i sort of don't really care about her anymore.. she's in a relationship already, anyway. so, there's like a 2% of us becoming 'partners'.. or however you wanna call it.. so, i hung out with adie and kate first..Ü it was soooo fun also since we went to this really huge inflatable slide thingy..Ü i only did like 5-7 slides, i think.. since i was wearing socks and all that..Ü hehe.. then, i ate this rice in a box thingy mabob..Ü
we went into one room were it's like a karaoke bar.. but, then no one was singing..Ü hehe.. oh!! and my friends performed.. but, i wasn't able to see them.. *sobs* but, kate says it was good..Ü yay!! go kyla!!Ü whoo-hoo!!Ü harhar!!
then, mom and i hit the mall.. we finally bought my white stockings for our dress rehearsal tomorrow for our confirmation!! yay!!Ü but, i'm not even sure if they fit me..Ü hehe.. but, i hope they do..Ü dad's out playing golf with his friends, as usual.. he's really never home.. *sighs* oh!! btw, i have a live journal!! hahahaha!!Ü wanna see it? okay, just click here..Ü hehe.. but, there really isn't much entries there yet..Ü so.. nothing else to say.. so.. buh-bye!!Ü
[nikki]
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| [crushed by grief and despair] |
| 01.30.04 (10:13 pm) [edit] |
you didn't notice me
even if i was right there
waiting impatiently
for you to say something
something meaningful
something worth saying
i wanted to say something
something vague
something harsh
because i felt rejected
but i didn't
because i didn't want you to get hurt
[nikki]
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| [not so good] |
| 01.30.04 (7:40 pm) [edit] |
went to the school fair.. at around 5-8 pm.. i didn't hang out with her.. besides, i just found out that the crush isn't that big anymore.. dunno why.. she's such a pain in my ass.. making me a maid and all.. gosh.. she's annoying..
forget about her, let's talk about our school fair!!Ü hehe.. so, hung out with julia, claudine, kate and trixie.. as usual, my so-called best friend didn't even stay with us!! she stayed with the bad crowd.. oh well.. who cares about her anyway? so, we did so much.. but, seemed so little..Ü we went to 'the crypt'.. some haunted thingy.. we ate some rice in a box kind of food and all that.. not in the mood to be blogging right now.. because..
1 the crush is sort of gone..
2 my best friend ditched me
3 my 'loner' friend's thinking that she's so popular.. blah di blah..
so.. just gonna blog again next time..
[nikki]
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| [she's here!!Ü] |
| 01.29.04 (11:33 pm) [edit] |
sorry if i didn't update yesterday.. my internet thingy got disconnected or something.. neway, eeeeeee!!Ü guess what!! she's in my house right now!!!!Ü *faints* she called me up yesterday and told me that her plans were cancelled or something.. so.. she's taking a bath right now.. in my bathroom!!!!Ü i just turned on the shower for her and stuff.. oh my gosh!! i sort of saw 'something'.. tee hee.. when i was turning on the shower.. she was naked.. hmm.. i think she has pubic hair already.. i think.. eeeww.. gross!! it looked so hairy and stuff.. i swear that was so gross.. oh!! btw, check this icon out.. although, i'm not really planning to use it..
cute, noh? hehe..Ü for those of you who want to use it, be free to..Ü just inform me if you are, okay?Ü neway, she's still bathing.. uhm.. nothing to say anymore.. so.. toodles!!Ü oh, btw, she hugged me yesterday!!Ü eeeeeee!!Ü
[nikki]
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| [how come my dreams never come true?] |
| 01.28.04 (1:59 am) [edit] |
so, the friday thing's not happening anymore.. *sobs* she has to go somewhere.. grr.. so annoying!! btw, you know what.. she hit my friend in the face with a bball!! i'm so sure that that hurt so much.. i'm so annoyed with her.. why does she have to be so mean? but, neway.. why can't she go? i mean, what if 'something' *wink wink* happens? no.. not sex!! but, like.. we make out or something.. that would be soooo cool.. too bad she ain't coming anymore.. *sobs*
oh!! i caught her staring at me like 3 times today during home ec class!!Ü oh.. i forgot.. i'm annoyed with her.. well, sort of..Ü she also hugged me..Ü aaaahh.. soo warm..Ü *sighs* her hugs are the greatest ever..Ü
[nikki]
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| [is it true? i hope so..] |
| 01.27.04 (3:02 am) [edit] |
so, today went okay.. my crush.. talked to me loads of times today!! yipee!! hehe..Ü oh!! and she might come over my house this friday.. hope my mom will allow her to.. *sigh* and here's a conversation between her and one of my friends:
my friend: do you love katrina?
my crush: no!! it's nikki who i love..
obviously, the nikki she mentioned there is me..Ü and, i swear, i nearly fainted when i heard her say that.. gosh.. is it true?? i mean.. does she love me? as in like more than just a friend? hope so.. hehe..Ü gosh.. so.. that's all i have to say for now.. hope the friday thing will push through.. *prays* hehe..Ü
[nikki]
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| [me and my sucky life] |
| 01.26.04 (2:45 am) [edit] |
okay, so.. today was a bit not so nice.. first of all, my crush kept ignoring me.. *sobs* i didn't even do anything to her or something.. i sometimes find her a jerk.. a snob.. whatever!! but, i still love her.. hehe..Ü
so, me and my friend, kate were in this state in which in one minute we fight, and then the next, we're talking a lot.. it's pretty weird. but, if this just keeps going on and on and on.. i guess i wouldn't be that upset or something.. since i'm used to it already.. but, it's good to know that we ended the day pretty okay.Ü
oh!! btw, check out my new lovely avatar!! harhar..Ü but, i might change it.. but, i don't really know much websites where you get free avatars.. i mean, aside from avatarity. if you know any, pls tell me!!Ü hehe.. so, nothing to say anymore.. so.. tooodles!!Ü oh.. and, btw, i probably won't update this regularly. even if i go online everyday.. because i still have to update my other blog to, you know..Ü
[nikki]
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| [my sexuality] |
| 01.25.04 (12:49 am) [edit] |
okay.. so, the title says it all.. anyway, nothing much to say right now. mom and dad are out.. on a date!! tee-hee!!Ü they haven't been on a date for so long. and i was thinking that maybe they should spend a little time together.. without me.. and without anyone else.. *sighs* gosh.. old people can be so sweet.. hehe..Ü
anyway, i am a lesbian.. well, bi-sexual.. i study in an all-girls school and i don't see much guys.. so, i started falling in love with this girl.. *sighs* gosh.. she's so damn fine!! she ain't a hottie.. but, a sweet, gorgeous lesbian, too.. she came over my house two days ago.. we did so much stuff.. she is just so pretty.. and whenever I hug her.. her body's so warm and stuff.. *sighs* i wish i could be her girlfriend or something.. she's in a relationship actually.. but, i guess it won't hurt if i flirt a little, right? gosh.. i just wish that it would be us..
[nikki]
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